The Life I Was And Is In

i felt kinda sick of this kinda life.
wish NS came earlier so i can at least have something to do =/
talked with a girl whom i took good care of in the dark in secondary school.
well, not bad talking about the old days too i guess.
and mistook her glued back with someone, sad, i shouldn’t have said anything about it.

and eh, i’ve noticed one thing about myself and someone.
we didn’t even start, so i guess we aren’t really going out, so i guess i’ve got no rights to be saying anything about liking her and such, since i barely took any responsibility about it.
i just wish i’ve got the cash to make her happy at least =/
i felt so lousy, but well, that’s how i live my everyday life at least.
a day without those thoughts is like nothing gained in life.
at least i’m blindly liking her.
and i took that kind of liking as a motivation in life.
hearing her voice is more than enough, well more like being an added ecstacy to my motivation.
heh.

and eh, relatives here for the second day and i’m bloody hungry.
tomorrow is soccer in the morning, wish i could stop being nervous about it and start to sleep soon.
bloody fucking raja and fadhli, i’ll make sure you two suffer from my toxic odor D:
anyways later.

pretty much nothing to do other then spamming her with around 20 miss calls? i lost count.

HOLY MUTHAHACKING SHYTAS!

eh.
just bored and wanna say this?
i’ve never seen a person who goes out so often and calls so many people yet never answer my calls.
perhaps i’m already dejected and rejected the very moment i fell into the river?
perhaps. i guess. perhaps.
still like her anyways.
kthxbai.
eh.
i don’t know why i call her.
maybe due to some needs to talk?
but i can’t find anything to talk about.
sad.
btw just graduated.
that means i’m not a student anymore.
boohoo.
wahahaha.
ok later.

D:
D:
D:

ok fucking hell i’m past 46 mins back from the previous day by the time i typed 46.
shit.
this doesn’t felt like a blog anymore.
more like somewhat personal space?
well i can write whatever i want here if i felt like it.
for example:
eh nevermind, don’t think this will work out anyway =/

ok today eh…
wake up just to meet up with Steven and have a nice Guild to raise his hunter level.
Monster Hunter Portable is nice indeed <3
but my fame in the GFaqs is going to be grounded, but fear not i think i’m a legend myself already.
meh.
barely most of the time spent is on the games.
then i invited him over to my house =o
heh from what i see we looked like specs-brothers in views of people >.>;
just that i’m the only moron wearing school uniform in an outing O.o
why a uniform you ask?
well easy:
YOU DON’T NEED TO BE CHOOSY
end of that.

well then i checked my friendster as my friend is chit chatting with my father.
oh? an update of someone’s blog? *checks*
hmm…
missing someone huh, prefer not to name him/her =/
prolly not me, even if the skies were to even fall on my head.
well, if it’s mean i think i’ll be happy? perhaps anyway, just a ’selfish’ way of thinking.
btw i’m self-centered, and i love myself <333
ok i don’t love myself for being a 3-layered-fats-on-stomach-person
hmm…

perhaps i think too much for the day.
hmmm…
i still miss her alot thought, don’t know if she does the same.

those days with you are rather like a dream, since several years has passed and yet the ever trusting and warm feelings never left me nor did it leave me alone…
where are you when i need you? -Shigeki

ok i whore’d enough >.>;
good night fans of mine <3
and friends of mine
and fans of mine

Just watched a funny video of how people dreams.
first there is this guy who is a somewhat Public kinda Official, incharge of law and stuffs.
every night he’ll be putting his radio replaying every Law Enforcement rule and law, word to word, and put the radio by his pillow, and he falls asleep.
then a girl (his somewhat childhood friend, who is in love with him) comes in to check him out, and found out he’s mumbling in his dreams. what did he mumble? it’s:
EVERY DAMN WORD FROM THE RADIO

so she had an idea =o
she stopped the radio.
then.
she mumbled "I love you"
the guy repeated that.
the girl was very excited, and went on saying "I love you at the very first sight i see you"
the guy did it again.
the girl went on, "I love you, i want to see you more everyday, and i want to mess you up"
as she waited for the reply…
the guy was, like eh, went pale.

i lawl’d at that.
so what happened, the guy put on earphones instead the next night.
and eh, no the girl didn’t do the same thing again.

another female (yes female) childhood friend went home late, and so happens to be also living in this guy’s house.
incidentally, she climbed through the wrong window, and she fell upon the guy’s bed, and landed on him.
all of a sudden, the guy hugs her.
she was shocked.
the guy said, "I love you"
the girl was O_O
he continued, "I love you at the very first sight i see you"
the girl was all red in the face then
lastly… "I love you, i want to see you more everyday, and i want to mess you up"
The girl is all teary and uguuuu~ etc (imagine a girl who likes you so much but can’t do ‘this’ and ‘that’ kinda things to the guy she likes, as if she’s holding back. what’s ‘this’ and ‘that’ you say? Kiss and Hugs, what are you thinking?)
the guy, in the end, got kicked the the groin, and woke up.
the first childhood friend came in as soon as she heard a scream came from the guy’s room.
and the guy so happened to find out that the radio, instead of playing Law Enforcement rules and laws, is playing:
"I love you"
"I love you at the very first sight i see you"
"I love you, i want to see you more everyday, and i want to mess you up"
…

man this is kinda nasty, and i wanna try it out =d
anyways there’s also a saying that if you dreamt of someone close/who is a friend in real life, that means you’re missing that fellow very much.
well lately i’ve got no dreams though.
perhaps i happened to lost that feeling?
lol.
oh well lemme go play some games.
be back later.

here goes another worthless week.
just bought my swimming trunks for the Navy BMT and such.
nothing much today
today morning, like eh, 9+? I reached CMPB (Central Man Power Base).
i waited there for a person for 1 hour. the fellow at the counter forgot all about it for some reason, and the other fellow near him said he thought i was waiting for a friend. omfg.

and eh i tried calling her a few times, just like yesterday. for someone reason its ignored or something? didn’t pay bills? I don’t know about that so i don’t want to look too deep into it.

then went to tampines, get the swimming stuff, yeah, then off to my friend’s house after having a 2 bowls of rice + pork soup meal, nasty it is, after all the ‘talks’ we are talking while eating… almost felt like puking for some reason >.>;

then again, after reaching my friend’s house around 3+ i called her again, and i start to worry.

aww well, if she needs me she’ll call, IF she needs me at all.
anyways thats how i lived my life up till now anyways:
"You’re too nice to others that you prefer to hurt yourself before others"
i think its making sense but, eh, i don’t think everyone would think i get hurt that easily.
but i  do ya know.
i have mental weakness.
whew.
i think i’ll get woman-phobia.

well, i tried pretty much alot of times already…
and when i tried again at 11:46pm, it went:
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
Toot Toot
The M1 customer…
figures
felt neglected and lost of something all of a sudden.

dang i never wanna feel like that again ya know.
*sigh*
if i really do wanna do it i have to, because thats how it shall go well and be well, and for the sake of herself i guess.

*gets emo*

WHAHahhwahahwhahwhahhwahahhahahahahhaha.

i guess nothing to add at the moment.
but eh, i wanna devote one song for ‘her’?
its in japanese, but not sure if she likes it.
‘Cheer up and enjoy your high school life, for it shall be forever in your heart and never fade as a passing, yet great and lively, memory’

http://profile.imeem.com/OQ_Sc7/music/_jcpFMOC/honey_beat/

whew i felt as if this life is nothing but a dream of dreams, a horrid one.
i wish life could be something bigger and better.
he who worries felt like an idiot, yet something within him tells him to go on like this.
shall he or shall he not be the one, he goes on trying to support her for the rest of his life devoting to her.

ok now i felt like a moron instead.

Yeah well every male singaporean will get this someday, no matter how >.>;
i got here without acknowledgement you know?
i was 2 then, how does a kid yell at his mom and say
"Yo Momsy! I Ain’t Going Singapore For Damn Army Fuck Shit!"
If any 2 year old kid really yell that please do tell me, i’ll inform US’s head scientist to have that kid’s head checked.

anyways just registered for navy~
enlistment is on July 12th

but just happened that i mistook hepatitis (or whatever you call that) for my G6PD Deficiency thing.
shucks.
when i called them as they stated they never pick the phone up.
is that a prank by the recruitment officer?
well why a prank? i’ll explain:
i mistook it for something, but he told me to call him up no matter how, or my registration for Navy is denied.
yeah so i guess i’m being denied huh, he never picked my phone, well, i guess he still wants his bowl of rice. (Bah crap)

anyways, nothing much happened lately.
just that:
Dad’s on my "Totally Ignored" list
Shu Jun is becoming eh…. ‘beautiful’
someone’s on suicide plan where i am the one to jump out there and save the day
someone needs swimming lesson
2 fellows needs his trunks and shorts (swimming)
i never slept for 2 days
eh some of my friends went emo after going into Poly (Pokles)
my phone is almost broken in halves in my mom’s bag

nothing much happened, really, except i missed someone’s call alot, seems to make my expectation lower now… happy and waiting for nothing.
bah.

anyways for this week my nicest dansdnasdnand song is:
http://profile.imeem.com/OQ_Sc7/music/UDZuvlay/your_own_miracle/
01-Your Own MIRACLE.mp3 from DJMax Portable 2’s OST!
pretty nice song-dings and a good song. making a lively place to live in as you listen. never regret what you did and etc etc etc etc etc etc etc and so on.

next is eh:
http://profile.imeem.com/OQ_Sc7/music/etF8Pj8E/chain/
Chain - Back-On from my Profile, as heard
Well well Air Gear’s very own anime’s Opening Theme. Firstly, it doesn’t really sound like ‘anime’ theme at all, more like rock music you know? you know how rock music goes like daaa daaa daaaa if not its ching chin daa etc

finally:
http://profile.imeem.com/OQ_Sc7/music/6bGht2eM/end_of_moonlight/
End Of Moonlight from DJMax Portable’s OST and from the very game itself
a very nice song overall. i like the trance most, since its like, how do you say it? sound as smooth as silk yet strong like an Fe. (Whatever that is)

oh and this:
http://profile.imeem.com/OQ_Sc7/music/kvOSU8Fg/ikarus/
IKARUS from DJMax Portable 2’s OST is good too
An anime-pop song, sound very good and nice BGM, and its in korean so i pretty much don’t understand much about it.

Whew i’ll be uploading for the moment~
and eh. i still yet to find her birthday. sad.
but still, enjoy the songs.