And The World Today…
Till I met a girl.
Mumbling to herself…
‘Do you like this world?
I really, really like this world…
But nothing can stay unchanged.’
She must’ve been talking to her other self.
Words aren’t directed at me.
She must’ve been talking to someone in her heart…
‘Fun things… Happy things…
They can’t simply be stayed unchanged.
Even so, will you still continue to like this place?’
‘Just find them.’
I reply with a little bit of anger.
‘Just find new fun and happy things.’
‘…’
She just stared at me.
And we started climbing…
The long… long… uphill climb…
That reminded of myself being young and all…
Me and her together till she went away to a faraway distanced place.
Which I can’t reach for her nor can she reach for me.
Or rather maybe she could’ve reached out to me just that I didn’t grab onto her hands or act to notice it.
Back then after her departure…
I remember how I hated this world.
The very streets of the pleasant place along the roads of the city.
I hated all.
I hated my family, neglected and felt rejected.
I just went on my life as it does.
Just the everyday life, the same plain life without meanings to live, nor meanings to die.
Just thinking of yourself living in an emptied world without joy, happiness and sadness.
Only in a world where you got so angry at that make it all happen.
I hate this world.
It’s full memories that I want to forget about.
Go to school everyday, chat with friends.
And go back to the home where I don’t even want to go back to.
Will something change eventually, doing this?
Will that day come?
Till my days in secondary school, I’ve lived a life full of sadness hidden behind smiling, angry faces.
I’ve been lying to myself all my life.
All my life I’ve been escaping the fact that I’ve forgotten her.
All my times wasted on spending all my thoughts on worthless deeds.
I’ve experienced fun, happy times.
Sad times at most, disappointing times at most likewise.
Through conflicts I find friendship, through argument I’ve found faithfulness.
Through sadness I find kinship, through anger I’ve found betrayal.
Through many sad things I’ve found I’ve started wondering to myself;
When Will My Dream End? And How Long Will People Remember Me As Who I Was?
I entered College after many thoughts came by.
Stressed face everyday.
Not to be know as my expression shows naught of that.
All I ever thought is that college is the end of my life time.
End of the road.
Time to be free and think for myself, my future, my life.
As my life past, I’ve found enemies through friends, and friends through enemies.
Never one would betray you till you’ve found faithfulness in them to you.
Never one would fight for nothing but for wrong doings.
Never one, would, steal for not a good reason said.
Never one that I’ve scolded is for a fun pass time, a fun made wrong.
As for today.
I prayed for myself.
Never stand up for others, for those who never stood up for themselves.
